Inner refuge

Looking back through the history that brought me here, from my birth to now. Swelling up within me the unspoken truth of my life, my perspective, this "I am". Memory brings back resemblances of what is now although I'm blinded by my own rejection of my past and thus I reject what mirrors it now. I've come to a mirror of my own past yet i struggle to recognize it. Or is It that the ideal, the archetypal inner world, calls me towards a reality that does not exist here. What is here is the reality of my life as its been, as it is. What I dream and the images within are the world of the archytypes, that inner sanctuary, shelter from the storm of life. Perhaps because of the circumstances of my early life, I was brought by the "gods" to that inner refuge and I know it better then most. It would seem that only through suffering and disappointment does the archetypal inner world become contrasted and therefore apparent in relation to the outer world of life. So a difficult up bringing at least gives the early knowing of the inner sanctuary of the gods although it may disconnect us from the outer world to the same degree.