The soul

The soul shines bright for one who has continually been disappointed, hurt and betrayed. When one know without a doubt that the soul is not to be found in the outer world of flesh and blood the the soul shines bright and takes on a transcendent dimension. So you see now that suffering and pain Is just the shedding of skin? False hopes and illusions fall away leaving the truth. Any hope that one has in the treasure being found in the outer world turns the wheel of ones karma and fate. When you no longer look outside yourself then the wheel stops moving and you rest in eternity. One cannot simply say to themselves that they understand all the and that they are no longer seeking the outer treasure. The heart speaks for itself and from the heart one acts. If the heart feels that there still may be a outer treasure then no amount of reason and logic can change ones path. Religion that does not engage one emotionally is a facade

Inner refuge

Looking back through the history that brought me here, from my birth to now. Swelling up within me the unspoken truth of my life, my perspective, this "I am". Memory brings back resemblances of what is now although I'm blinded by my own rejection of my past and thus I reject what mirrors it now. I've come to a mirror of my own past yet i struggle to recognize it. Or is It that the ideal, the archetypal inner world, calls me towards a reality that does not exist here. What is here is the reality of my life as its been, as it is. What I dream and the images within are the world of the archytypes, that inner sanctuary, shelter from the storm of life. Perhaps because of the circumstances of my early life, I was brought by the "gods" to that inner refuge and I know it better then most. It would seem that only through suffering and disappointment does the archetypal inner world become contrasted and therefore apparent in relation to the outer world of life. So a difficult up bringing at least gives the early knowing of the inner sanctuary of the gods although it may disconnect us from the outer world to the same degree.

Masculine/feminine

Overcompensation seems to be a problem with most people. We react emotionally to something and go to extremes to compensate. We usually miss the middle. Our relationship to our mother and father shows in our relationship to chaos and order. With tensions with the father we may be against order and with tensions with mother we may be a against chaos or spontaneity. Mother/ father relationship forms the basis for the child's relationship to the inner polaritys. If mother dominates the household then the child will be dominated within by the female traits, at least until the child becomes a individuated adult. Until I person seperates them self psychologically from the parental influence then it seems to be a on going relationship which can change on way or another but your always at the mercy of the parents relationship to one another. While it's true that a person can free themselves from this influence by becoming self aware, it may take a long time and not happen until they are older. I'm concerned with modern movements like feminism, socialism, government support, etc, because if the instinctual family structure is altered, it causes all kinds of collective imbalances.  In allot of poor communities you have allot of kids growing up without much of a father figure, largely in part becouse food stamps allow women to get by alone without a man. This starts a viscous cycle where the boys grow up without structure and become irresponsible and then the women claim they are not supporting them and the cycle keeps on repeating.  Feminism has the danger of making some men afraid to be masculine because of ridicule. It eventually goes back to that overcompensation idea. What's happening now is compensation for years of male dominance but it's going to the other extreme. The only hope I see is in individuals becoming aware of themselves apart from the collective. It feels sometimes like we as modern humans are a long long way from where we came from, those ancient days where we lived by the laws of instinct and nature. Seems like a hopeless struggle to get back there sometimes, but I think we will have to in some way or other either by choice or by catastrophe.